FEAR OF DEATHi think i finally understood something about my fears around death. dying in a way that could be construed to be pushishment, the result

i think i finally understood something about my fears around death. dying in a way that could be construed to be pushishment, the result of the failure to follow God's directions. murder, accident, even illness. all death may be a punishment of sorts, punishment being the subjective term for correction, redirection, evolutionary movement forward etc. so the thought of dying in some less than desirable way..(my present choice would be to leave my physical body consciously, being fully conscious of my astral body, and simply not returning) feels as if it would indicate my failure to achieve my least ambitious goal. any fool can be murdered, be killed in an 'accident', or succumb to illness. but also there is the desire to overcome the process of death entirely, as Babaji in the AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A YOGI, claims to have done. but, second to that would be the former choice. though Prem Rawat(jokingly) reminds everyone that death is probably inevitable for many('look at the graveyards..they have a message for you'), i do think it is also possible that this mention could be a psychological ploy to help average men and women from being too overly obsessed with defeating it. the obsession in itself my doom one to difficulties...????